Their eldest daughter's support

I had taken some pride in having contributed to our family's finances after I graduated from University and started working in 1971.  I remember giving the bulk of my first month's salary to my Mother.  She refused initially but finally accepted it.  When I saw her using it to pay the debts ( I remember it was RM500 and that was lot of money 4 decades ago) she owed to the provision shop man, I was really happy.    I remember the provision shop man near our house used to send dry provisions to our house on a motorbike.  Everytime he came, Mother would pay him a small amount, whatever she could afford.  The rest that she owed him would be recorded in a small note book, commonly known as the 555 note book.  Then every end of the month he would try to collect the balance but Mother always could not pay him in full.  So the debt accumulated.  I think after I started working and helped Mother on a regular basis, the situation improved.  Several years later when my 3 brothers graduated I think they contributed too and Mother became less stressed financially.

Several weeks ago in a casual conversation with our eldest sister, I realized that what I did for the family financially was insigficant compared to her.  My sister who is nearly 5 years older than me, started work after completing Secondary school.  When she started working in KL at about 18-19 years old , I was still in Lower Secondary and it was another 10 years before I started working.  It  means that for 10 years, on her small income, she was actually helping Mother and Father to put food on the table for her 4 younger siblings and to put a roof over our heads. She told me that for many years after she started working she never had a savings account.  I can understand why she felt so saddened when father's house was sold.     

Our family in 1952 in Sabak Bernam, Selangor

Our family in 1961 infront of our new house in Petaling Jaya

Our family in 1973 when 2 of my brothers graduated

   SPeng

Father's most precious possession

The bad news for me a few days ago is that Father's house had just been sold.  Although I can appreciate the reason why brother TKeat sold the house I still feel so sad. 

I remember when we first shifted into the house in 1961, one day Father (he was on leave because he was still working in Parit Buntar then) was waiting for me on the road in front of the house to come back from school.   From far down the road, with my heavy school bag, I could see him looking and waving very anxiously at me.  He then walked towards me and took my school bag.  At the same time he very excitedly told me "we got a refrigertor, come quickly to see!".  That was indeed the first fridge our family had ever had.  When we were in Parit Buntar where we stayed for many years before moving to our new house in PJ in 1961 we never owned a fridge and Mother used to go to the market everyday to buy fresh produce to cook for a day.

I wish I had the money to buy the house from brother and just keep it in Father's memory.  But that is not meant to be.  Yesterday Sister told me that AhMeng dreamt of his grandfather, asking him to lock the house.  I know the dream may have no relevance, but I still could not help feeling very sad.  I am so sorry Father.   

   SPeng

Some precious belongings

Last week Sis and I went through Father's old books and files.  Some of his things are more than 60 years old, like the letters he received from his village in China.  Some of his books are so old that they are tattered and torn, some however, are still in relatively good condition.  I still remember a few weeks before he left us, he was worried about his books.  He asked Sis what would happen to his books if he dies and whether Sis would like to have the books. 

Going through his books and files I realized he was such an intellectual man, far surpassing any of his children. Many of his books are of such high literary standards that the writings are beyond my ability to comprehend.  We decided to donate the books which are still in good condition to a library.  As for the rest which are tattered and torn, Sis would consult the religious experts whether we could burn the books for him, becasue we just could not bring ourselves to throw them away, knowng how precious they were to him. 

   
Today Sis and I went through Mother's old clothings and decided to donate most to charity. I kept several as momentos.

I remember she used to light up everytime I bought her materials to make clothes.  Sometimes I brought her along to the shops to choose for herself. I remember too that she preferred quieter colours like greys, browns, light blue, light green.  She would not wear bright colours like yellow and red, saying those colours are too "young" for her.  Also, she had only a very limited design preference.

SPeng

We had not done justice to the love they had for us

Today, in response to Brother TH's email, I wrote this:

 

"...WL is reading a published book which featured short stories (in Chinese) that won prizes. Father won a consolation prize for his story "20 Years by the River", covering 1941-1961. It was actually his autobiography during that period. WL said she cried and cried when she read the book, realizing the challenges they had gone through. Father wrote that he had to sell his writing pen to buy tapioca for food for himself and his wife. WL found 2 copies of the book and will give one to me. We will try to translate it then we will share with you, TK and Tkeat. I think each of us (I mean the 5 of us) in our own way, had not done justice to the sacrifices they made and the love they had for us, most of all myself".

 

Please forgive me my dear Father and Mother.

SPeng