My Mother's approval

Father left today for home and suddenly I feel so sad.  Although his being here had placed a lot of pressure on me (as he was then without the maid), I really wish he can stay here for the rest of his life.  I don't know why I feel this way.  Probably because I dreamt of Mother again last night, giving me a broad smile, as though she appproves of me looking after Father?   This morning I tried to persuade him to stay but he flatly refused and said "I want to go home". Why can't my house become his home?

I wish I had more time with Mother

Father, now 101 had been staying with me for 5 weeks now as his maid had gone back to Indonesia for a break.  Although Father is generally healthy relative to his age, Sister and I realized that he has had no more interest in his environment for quite a number of years already, maybe about 10 years. 

We then recall our Mother whose character was quite the opposite.  She liked to go out, just sight-seeing, looking at tall buildings, big houses, interesting scenaries.  She loved the NKVE stretch of road leading to Jala Duta because of the high cliffs on both sides of the highway.  She also liked to go to hypermarkets and would get very excited when she looked at the thousands of products on the shelves.     

Every now and then I used to pamper to her interest and drove her around.  But those trips got less and less frequent for her when I got more and more busy with my work and with the children.  On the day that she got really sick and could not get out of bed in 1998, she actually had an appointment with me to drive her to see the then brand new Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KLIA). When I arrived in the house in Section 12 Father informed me about her condition and I had to take her to the Pantai Hospital instead.

I remember clearly she said to me on several occassions that she could not wait for me to reach retirement age so that I would have more free time to bring her places.  Sadly that was not to be as she passed away 2 years short of my retirement. There are so many things I wish I had the time to do with her and also so many things I wish I hadn't done to her.  Forgive me my Mother.

A visit from Mother?

Last week when Father was having a bad bout of diarrhea in my house, I was resting on the bench when I dreamt of Mother.  She was looking young and happy.  She said "Your father sick ?  No...I don't think so...".  With those words she flew out of the house.   Maybe she did come for a visit, we'll never know...