My mother

If the whole world were put into one scale, and my mother in the other, the whole world would kick the beam. ~Lord Langdale (Henry Bickersteth)

"Send in your application", whispered my mother.

I will never forget the support and encouragement my mother gave me to apply for a place in the unversity. After my Form 6 examination in 1967, my father seriously suggested that I should look for a job. I would not fault him, he was probably worrying about having insufficient funds to see my 3 brothers through the university.

Probably sensing my sadness, my mother took me aside and whispered, "send in your application, don't worry". So I secretly sent in the application and was accepted by the university.

A few months later, when I had to come up with RM300, a big sum then, to pay for the first semester fees, my mother secretly handed me RM200 and that added to my own RM100 which I saved from 4 months of working as a temporary teacher, was just enough to pay for the fees. When I was an undegraduate, I tried my best not to incur heavy expenses. While my course mates had the luxury of buying those expensive reference books, throughout 3 years in the university, I am proud to say that I had never bought a single book. My mother is aware of this fact and I remember her often proudly mentioning it to her relatives and friends.

Actually, not buying any book worked out to my advantage because I was compelled to source for alternative references in the university library, spending many hours there doing research, which helped me to get better results and to cultivate a good habit that benefitted me for life. I still remember that, probably due to my extensive research efforts, for quite a number of papers that I had written, I often got a note from the lecturer "please leave a photostate copy in my letter box", which I considered a big honour.

Thank you mother.

Thank you mother

Something my sister told me last night reminded me again of my mother. A few days before she left us she told me that if she were to go, the only person she would be worried about is me. She felt that I am not financially stable, being forced by circumstances to bring up the 3 children by myself.

Yes, I admit it had been very diffiuclt. Looking back,I wonder how I managed. But I want to tell my mother that thanks to her, I had been more fortunate than many other women in the same situation as me. Thanks to my mother I invested in a house which I later sold to finance the children's education. Thanks to her too, I enjoyed the privilege of tertiary education, which had given me some earning power even after retirement. Thank you mother, unknowingly, you had prepared me for the heavy responsibilites I had to shoulder.

My Mothers's "favourite"

A rare visit from second brother Tai Kam who migrated to Melbourne some 30 years ago, now working in Manila, and soon will be working in Jakarta. Although he comes home to the country quite often, I think he last visited me in the house probably about 7 or 8 years ago! He was accompanied by sister Wan Lan and her husband. We had a pleasant dinner in a Chinese-Thai restaurant not far from the house.

I remember he was always my late mother's favourite. In fact at bed time, he always got the coveted spot right next to her, having to hold onto her arm tightly before he could even fall asleep. That was more than half a century ago but some memories will always be with us.

Our siblings. They resemble us just enough to make all their differences confusing, and no matter what we choose to make of this, we are cast in relation to them our whole lives long. ~Susan Scarf Merrell

My Mother "the shopper possessed"

Went shopping with my sister yesterday for a mirror. Instead I ended up buying a chair and a set of cooking pots, while my sister ended up with one candle lamp, a lot of candles and 3 pots of plants, 2 rose plants plus an orchid plant.

When we were looking at the flowers, somehow our conversation went to our late Mother. She used to have green fingers, she loved plants, especially roses and hydrangeas. She used to plant them rather successfully in our garden in PJ. We know she would have loved the beautiful flowering plants being sold there.

We also remember that our Mother used to be quite a "compulsive" or "obsessive" shopper. For things she really liked she just went like crazy. Besides flowers, we recalled that she used to like going to Kuala Selangor to purchase fish straight from the sea. We could almost see her adrenalin risng on the sight of the freshest fish and prawns. And, when she visited Chinese sundry shops which sell traditional Chinese food products like abalone, shark fins, dried fish stomach, etc. she would be almost like a woman possessed, like she wanted to buy them all.

These are some special memories of our late Mother that only we as her daughters, have the benefit to share and keep.

A mother loves her children even when they least deserve to be loved - Kate Samperi

I know the love you had for me

I know the love you had for me
I know you wanted the best for me
I know the silent tears you shed for me

I know the many anxieties you sufferred for me

I know the thousand miles you walked for me
I know you saw me grew into the woman you were proud to see
I know I disappointed you in many ways, yet I know you forgave me
The tears I shed when you were called home
To that beautiful land in the clouds
Memories are all I have

There will never be anybody who loves me more than her

"thegraciousrose" will be a blog in memory of my Mother, Lim SweeHeng, who returned to heaven on 9th August 1998. It is now 10 years since her passing and for me not a day had gone by without some thoughts of her. In the first several months of her passing, every time I thought of her it hurted so much, as though a part of my heart was being sliced off. Then it slowly grew better for me. As the saying goes, time heals, although thoughts of her still bring a tear to my eye. I know there will never be anybody who cares and loves me as much as she did.

5 years ago, I wrote a short memorial for her in cyberspace.
http://www.griefnet.org/memorials/2003c/jul12-0237712868.html